I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
