sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize