Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
