This girl is more easily done than said...
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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