Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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