If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize
