dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize