i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Randomize
