it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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