More tranny stories later!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
