It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
