The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
