we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
