Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
