Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
