he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
