i already hear my dad disowning me
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
