Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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