Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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