As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
