Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
