Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
Success! We fucked roommates!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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