So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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