do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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