Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
