it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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