i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
