The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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