Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
