Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
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