He is an equal opportunity slut.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Randomize
