dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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