hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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