it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize