Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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