piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
