i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
In America we eat man semen.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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