Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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