they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
