if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Terrible idea I love it
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
