Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
