I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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