I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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