hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Me too!
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
