whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
