when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Randomize