So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I can't turn off my feet"
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
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