Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
