Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
