I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
