the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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