Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
Randomize
