I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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