If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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