i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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