If i come over, it means nothing
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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