That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
