Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
