I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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