how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
